Here's the info from the RTC website
Access list: Recruits are permitted to place up to four names on the access list for graduation (
children under 12 do not need to be on the access list). Only the recruit may submit or change names, and no changes are permitted once the access list has been submitted to RTC Security the week prior to graduation. Please be sure to write to your recruit to let them know who will be attending.
The RTC website has a lot of info -
http://www.bootcamp.navy.mil/graduation.asp
Everyone and their families should review the family guide
http://www.bootcamp.navy.mil/fam_guide.asp